EDIT: Above = me, happy to be home and to be done with the marathon and to have the medal that I thought they were gonna run out of XD
I am thirsty, and wish to partake in a beverage, but I'll hold off to update this thing.
So I completed my first marathon. It wasn't like how I thought it would be. I basically started off weird, and had this weird hip pain the entire 26.2 miles. I also broke down emotionally at the point where I was due to hit the wall, and then had to reach deep to complete it on auto pilot. It was a strange experience. My time was awful and even though I got a medal for completing it (in 6 hours and 30 minutes--I had to walk a lot because of the hip pain) I felt like I didn't really earn it, but, that's kind of ridiculous. For a first marathon, just finishing it is really the only goal I should have had in mind. But, let me tell you, when you run a 6:30 marathon, there are NO PEOPLE CHEERING FOR YOU ANYMORE. There are hardly even water stations. They are taking away cones as you hobble/run.
And my pinky toe, formerly covered in a blood blister, has turned a lovely purplish black color. But I've had toenails fall off before, and am confident all is fine. I can still walk, so I'm okay! *thumbs up, stiff upper lip*
I want to do the NYC marathon as my second marathon, but I'm debating over when to do it. I still have about 50 pounds to lose, which would help take strain off my body and help me get faster. Plus, I told myself I'd do a marathon before I turned 25, so there's one for the bucket list. Pressure's off.
Not much else going on. I decided to stop taking my birth control. I might have to go back on some form of hormone stabilizer, but...I'm kind of hoping that a lot of the weird issues I had with my period were obesity related. I'm still considered obese, but I've lost almost 100 pounds since the craziest times, and I'm hoping that maybe, somehow, losing the weight helped. But who knows.
Been trying to deal with Holiday Depression. Around this time of year--every year--I start to get severely depressed and don't really know what to do with myself. This year it's manifested itself in my insecurities about my body, yay! It seems the more weight I lose, the more terrified I am of my physical self, if that makes any sense. I'm way too self conscious.
Anyway, I have work in a few hours. I should rest.
Notice my non-mention of Thanksgiving. I hate Thanksgiving. I hate being around an excess of food.
Current Mood: tired